Always Darkest Before the Dawn
by its-like-a-story-of-love
Summary: Set after the filming of 5x01 so **spoilers ahead.** Killian isn't taking well the latest sacrifice Emma has made.


Always Darkest Before the Dawn

He didn't want to wake up.

He knew if he did he would realize that what happened was real…that it wasn't a dream.

As his eyes slowly parted, the rays of the sun blinded him momentarily as they glinted off the metal object lying next to the nightstand. The curved blade that had once been his vessel for revenge for so long was now his own weakness. The name that was engraved into the cursed steel was one in which he never thought he would see, and yet it taunted him. It had only been mere hours since he tried to summon the Dark One, but for some inexplicable reason, it didn't come—she didn't come.

David tried to take the dagger from him after his first attempt had failed, but he wouldn't let him. Then Mary Margaret tried to calm him down, but how could anyone remain calm after what they had just witnessed? It was Robin who had gotten through to him—not through words, but through rum. This was a man who never really had gotten to know much, but he knew exactly what Killian needed at the moment to ease just a little bit of the pain. Robin escorted him to the Beer Garden and after about two or five, the darkness of the impending blackout creeped into his consciousness. He couldn't remember a thing until he woke, and now the words "Emma Swan" emblazoned on the dagger brought everything back in seconds.

A heavy pounding at the door cause him to stir. It was at this moment when he realized that he was not in his bed at Granny's. He was, in fact, in her room…in her bed. The dagger was on her nightstand; the sun was pouring out onto her belongings. The only thing missing was her…his Swan.

He heard voices from the kitchen downstairs, so Killian began to rouse himself from his sleep, but his head had other plans as a splitting headache overcame him.

"You up, Sleeping Beauty?" Somehow through the fuzziness, he could tell it was David yelling.

"You won't find Aurora here, mate. Just me."

Chuckling, David made his way up the ladder into Emma's loft space. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I got hit by another bloody car…"

"You look just as much. Do you need anything?"

"Besides the obvious?" Killian said in his most defeated tone, "I could use something to get rid of this headache…"

"Say no more. Mary Margaret is like a human pharmacy." With that, David moved swiftly to the ladder and climbed down.

He didn't want to, but he followed David towards the ladder, and much like the tortoise to David' hare, he sluggishly climbed down the ladder as well.

"Look who came to join the party!" Robin exclaimed, sitting at the dining table. It must have been him who had been knocking at the door that fully woke him up.

"I hope no one had any fun without me," Killian said in a very clipped tone as he sat at the table. He was no mood to joke around.

It took five minutes of awkward silence for Robin to break it, and all he could say was, "Killian…"

"What, Robin?" Killian answered, eyes closed while pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

Killian lost it. He pushed himself up to his feet, and had his palms flat on the table, starting at Robin as he said "Do you THINK I am alright Robin? The love of my life just sacrificed herself, AGAIN, for this town, and not only that, she is now the Dark One. I spent centuries trying to get my revenge on the Crocodile with that dagger, and now? It's the only connection I have to her. AND I CAN'T EVEN SUMMON HER!" Emotionally drained, Killian collapsed back in his chair, slumping over.

Clearly hearing the rant, David rushed over to Killian with two aspiring and a glass of water. He placed the aspirin in his hand and waited for him to place them on the tip of his tongue before handing him the water next. "Killian, I understand how hard this is, but being this way isn't going to bring her back any sooner. Plus, you need to be the light that guides her back. Don't let this bring back the darkness in you. I know my daughter is the reason the goodness in you resurfaced, and I'm glad it did."

"Are you saying that we have your blessing, Dave?" Killian said.

Smiling, David replied, "You had my blessing when you brought her back to us. I just wanted to make sure that I didn't make a mistake in giving it to you."

"Well played, mate."

"Now, we know the dagger isn't working at this time. What's our next move?" David asked.

Killian planned on listening to their strategy meeting, but his eyes caught on something peeking out of the closet. He rose from his seat and walked over the door and opened it. On its hanger was Swan's red leather jacket.

From behind him, he could hear Robin say, "What are you doing, Killian?" but he was entranced by it. She was wearing it the day they met. She wore it when they went up the beanstalk together—the day when he realized that this woman could possibly mean something to him. It was like her suit of armor, and here it was without its owner.

Suddenly, an idea struck him. "A locator spell."

"Come again?" said Robin

"A locator spell. We can use Emma's jacket to form a locator spell."

"Hey, that's the first decent idea anyone of us has had," said David.

"Well then what are we waiting for, gentlemen? I'll phone Regina on the way," said Robin. As the three of them gathered their personal affects, Killian stopped them. "Wait! I need to get something from the loft." As climbed the stairs quicker than he ever had before, and as he reached the top, he made it to the night stand in two long strides. Grasping the handle of the dagger in his left hand, and Emma's jacket draped over his left arms, he spoke to himself, "I'm coming, my love. Come hell or high water, I will find you. Always."


End file.
